The Onion Voters Guide To Mitt Romney..

[Wedgebuster]

http://www.theonion.com/section/politics/

A must see insiders view of the real Mitt Romney...

[Chizzang]

Okay two things:
The NBA closing joke was hysterical

and the "We have to pretend that his religion isn't any crazier than any other religion" made me literally laugh out loud - because - its so true...
The sheer INSANITY required to be Mormon is a huge disconnect

[Ivytalk]

A Space Ark to found an "interstellar plutocratic aristocracy!" Gotta love The Onion!

When will they hold the lottery for the Ark?

[Chizzang]

A Space Ark to found an "interstellar plutocratic aristocracy!" Gotta love The Onion!

When will they hold the lottery for the Ark?

That's a play on the Mormon thing where each Holy Elder will become a God (true right from the book of Mormon) and is given (personally by God) their own Planet or world to rule

Seriously... I mean come on - that's so fucking stupid

[Ivytalk]

A Space Ark to found an "interstellar plutocratic aristocracy!" Gotta love The Onion!

When will they hold the lottery for the Ark?

That's a play on the Mormon thing where each Holy Elder will become a God (true right from the book of Mormon) and is given (personally by God) their own Planet or world to rule

Seriously... I mean come on - that's so **** stupid

Oh for Christ's sake, Cleets, go back to your own board! A freshly pressed pair of jeans will improve your U-Dub disposition.

[CitadelGrad]

A Space Ark to found an "interstellar plutocratic aristocracy!" Gotta love The Onion!

When will they hold the lottery for the Ark?

That's a play on the Mormon thing where each Holy Elder will become a God (true right from the book of Mormon) and is given (personally by God) their own Planet or world to rule

Seriously... I mean come on - that's so fucking stupid

No more stupid than walking on water, turning water into wine, rising from the dead or ascending to Heaven on a flying horse.

[Chizzang]

That's a play on the Mormon thing where each Holy Elder will become a God (true right from the book of Mormon) and is given (personally by God) their own Planet or world to rule

Seriously... I mean come on - that's so fucking stupid

No more stupid than walking on water, turning water into wine, rising from the dead or ascending to Heaven on a flying horse.

Yes MORE stupid...
But I respect your need for it to "not be more stupid"
But it is so clearly MORE STUPID

[Wedgebuster]

[CitadelGrad]

No more stupid than walking on water, turning water into wine, rising from the dead or ascending to Heaven on a flying horse.

Yes MORE stupid...
But I respect your need for it to "not be more stupid"
But it is so clearly MORE STUPID

No. Impossible is impossible. Impossible is absolute. There are no degrees of impossible. All of these things, regardless of the particular religion are impossible. Any talk of the impossible as a possibility is stupid to the same, absolute degree.

[Ivytalk]

Yes MORE stupid...
But I respect your need for it to "not be more stupid"
But it is so clearly MORE STUPID

No. Impossible is impossible. Impossible is absolute. There are no degrees of impossible. All of these things, regardless of the particular religion are impossible. Any talk of the impossible as a possibility is stupid to the same, absolute degree.

This is positively karmic.

[Chizzang]

No. Impossible is impossible. Impossible is absolute. There are no degrees of impossible. All of these things, regardless of the particular religion are impossible. Any talk of the impossible as a possibility is stupid to the same, absolute degree.

This is positively karmic.

"I will ascend to Godhood and be given my own planet to populate"
Is far MORE stupid than some guy thousands of years ago walking on water and curing the sick with magiks


Face it - one can be more stupid than the other...
It's tough to handle and I understand that - but - it's more stupid

[CitadelGrad]

This is positively karmic.

"I will ascend to Godhood and be given my own planet to populate"
Is far MORE stupid than some guy thousands of years ago walking on water and curing the sick with magiks


Face it - one can be more stupid than the other...
It's tough to handle and I understand that - but - it's more stupid

Not really. When the fiction surrounding Jesus was written, they had no knowledge of planets. Raising the dead and walking on water were the most far-fetched stories they could think of. If they had known about celestial bodies beyond the earth's atmosphere (or even what an atmosphere is), I'm sure their Jesus fiction would have included them.

19th Century religious nutters, like the Mormons, knew about planets and developed religious fiction to include them.

[Chizzang]

"I will ascend to Godhood and be given my own planet to populate"
Is far MORE stupid than some guy thousands of years ago walking on water and curing the sick with magiks


Face it - one can be more stupid than the other...
It's tough to handle and I understand that - but - it's more stupid

Not really. When the fiction surrounding Jesus was written, they had no knowledge of planets. Raising the dead and walking on water were the most far-fetched stories they could think of. If they had known about celestial bodies beyond the earth's atmosphere (or even what an atmosphere is), I'm sure their Jesus fiction would have included them.

19th Century religious nutters, like the Mormons, knew about planets and developed religious fiction to include them.

Viola'
My point exactly
To be ancient and idiotic is understandable / forgivable even

To be essentially modern man and a complete lunatic trapped in fantasy land is just plain old nutty

[CitadelGrad]

Not really. When the fiction surrounding Jesus was written, they had no knowledge of planets. Raising the dead and walking on water were the most far-fetched stories they could think of. If they had known about celestial bodies beyond the earth's atmosphere (or even what an atmosphere is), I'm sure their Jesus fiction would have included them.

19th Century religious nutters, like the Mormons, knew about planets and developed religious fiction to include them.

Viola'
My point exactly
To be ancient and idiotic is understandable / forgivable even

To be essentially modern man and a complete lunatic trapped in fantasy land is just plain old nutty

Obama claims to embrace the Christian fiction. Romney embraces the Mormon fiction. There really is no difference in the absurdity of their beliefs. Again, the impossible is impossible. Romney's fiction is no more absurd than Obama's fiction.

[Wedgebuster]

Viola'
My point exactly
To be ancient and idiotic is understandable / forgivable even

To be essentially modern man and a complete lunatic trapped in fantasy land is just plain old nutty

Obama claims to embrace the Christian fiction. Romney embraces the Mormon fiction. There really is no difference in the absurdity of their beliefs. Again, the impossible is impossible. Romney's fiction is no more absurd than Obama's fiction.

And that particular claim has never been accepted by the Republican machine, Romney's tithing of millions of dollars to the LDS proves he truly believes his absurd religion and all the underwear and space alien shit that goes with it, so what is exactly YOUR point here?

[CitadelGrad]

Obama claims to embrace the Christian fiction. Romney embraces the Mormon fiction. There really is no difference in the absurdity of their beliefs. Again, the impossible is impossible. Romney's fiction is no more absurd than Obama's fiction.

And that particular claim has never been accepted by the Republican machine, Romney's tithing of millions of dollars to the LDS proves he truly believes his absurd religion and all the underwear and space alien shit that goes with it, so what is exactly YOUR point here?

My point, which should be pretty easy to grasp, is that whatever Obama's religious beliefs are, they are no more or no less absurd than Romney's religious beliefs. It's all nonsense - Judaism, Mormonism, Islam, Christianity.

[Chizzang]

And that particular claim has never been accepted by the Republican machine, Romney's tithing of millions of dollars to the LDS proves he truly believes his absurd religion and all the underwear and space alien shit that goes with it, so what is exactly YOUR point here?

My point, which should be pretty easy to grasp, is that whatever Obama's religious beliefs are, they are no more or no less absurd than Romney's religious beliefs. It's all nonsense - Judaism, Mormonism, Islam, Christianity.

Yeah well... nice try but NOPE
Almost nothing is stupider than free planets being handed out - to which you get to populate
and ascending to Godhood - becoming A GOD..!!!!



But I do see your point - and it's desperate cling
Something that is false cannot be dumber than something else that is also false - but - that is not so

When: I say 2 + 2 = 4
and Christians answer nope it's Three and we all go... Yeesh and roll our eyes

And then I say: 2 + 2 = 4
and Mormons go nope it's 2,566,781,902,231,444,629.01

Yes they are both wrong
But that is clearly a dumber answer than 3

[CitadelGrad]

My point, which should be pretty easy to grasp, is that whatever Obama's religious beliefs are, they are no more or no less absurd than Romney's religious beliefs. It's all nonsense - Judaism, Mormonism, Islam, Christianity.

Yeah well... nice try but NOPE
Almost nothing is stupider than free planets being handed out - to which you get to populate
and ascending to Godhood - becoming A GOD..!!!!



But I do see your point - and it's desperate cling
Something that is false cannot be dumber than something else that is also false - but - that is not so

When: I say 2 + 2 = 4
and Christians answer nope it's Three and we all go... Yeesh and roll our eyes

And then I say: 2 + 2 = 4
and Mormons go nope it's 2,566,781,902,231,444,629.01

Yes they are both wrong
But that is clearly a dumber answer than 3

Both answers are equally incorrect.

[Chizzang]

Yeah well... nice try but NOPE
Almost nothing is stupider than free planets being handed out - to which you get to populate
and ascending to Godhood - becoming A GOD..!!!!



But I do see your point - and it's desperate cling
Something that is false cannot be dumber than something else that is also false - but - that is not so

When: I say 2 + 2 = 4
and Christians answer nope it's Three and we all go... Yeesh and roll our eyes

And then I say: 2 + 2 = 4
and Mormons go nope it's 2,566,781,902,231,444,629.01

Yes they are both wrong
But that is clearly a dumber answer than 3

Both answers are equally incorrect.

Agreed - but one is crazier than the other

[Ivytalk]

Both answers are equally incorrect.

Agreed - but one is crazier than the other

Jesus H. Christ, Cleets. Let it go! Would you like to talk about it? (Please say no.) Signed, Dr. Joyce Brothers

[kalm]

What about scientologists? Are they equally as wacky as the catholic church?

[Chizzang]

Agreed - but one is crazier than the other

Jesus H. Christ, Cleets. Let it go! Would you like to talk about it? (Please say no.) Signed, Dr. Joyce Brothers

I'm enjoying this too much...
Republicans defending Mormonism because - well - they have to now


BTW:
Everybody gets a free planet
and you get to populate it (Mormons are as obsessed with virgins as Muslims are)
And you get to become a God

Really everybody should want this - why everybody doesn't believe this is beyond me...

[CitadelGrad]

Jesus H. Christ, Cleets. Let it go! Would you like to talk about it? (Please say no.) Signed, Dr. Joyce Brothers

I'm enjoying this too much...
Republicans defending Mormonism because - well - they have to now


BTW:
Everybody gets a free planet
and you get to populate it (Mormons are as obsessed with virgins as Muslims are)
And you get to become a God

Really everybody should want this - why everybody doesn't believe this is beyond me...

How many times do I have to tell you -- I am not a Republican. BTW, I'm not defending Mormonism. Clearly, I'm saying it is crazy. I'm only qualifying it by saying that it is no crazier than any other religion.

[Chizzang]

I'm enjoying this too much...
Republicans defending Mormonism because - well - they have to now


BTW:
Everybody gets a free planet
and you get to populate it (Mormons are as obsessed with virgins as Muslims are)
And you get to become a God

Really everybody should want this - why everybody doesn't believe this is beyond me...

How many times do I have to tell you -- I am not a Republican. BTW, I'm not defending Mormonism. Clearly, I'm saying it is crazy. I'm only qualifying it by saying that it is no crazier than any other religion.

Right...

[houndawg]

What about scientologists? Are they equally as wacky as the catholic church?

At least. I kind of see them as an updated kind of Mormonism.


A Mormon/Scientology ticket, now that would be fun!