Typical Conk Halloween

[D1B]

1. They're the only houses on the block with no decorations even though they all have at least 4 conk larvae, all three SUV's in the driveway, outdoor lights shut off, shades pulled on all the windows so they can delude themselves into thinking no one knows they're actually home. All a ruse to avoid a hand out to kids with parents who, in their opinion, are not working hard enough. And, they're just cheap.

2. In the finished basements of said homes there's invariably an invite-only "private" Halloween party attended by families who meet a certain income threshold. Even though the party is supposed be for children, most of the snacks, food, decor and drink are really for adults - Smoked salmon and capers, bacon wrapped chestnuts, champagne, Bud Light, Jameson's... All the kids are upstairs in Tegan's room playing GTA V on Xbox and smoking fake pot. Conks, privately, don't give a flying fuck about their children.

3. Unfulfilled, rapidly aging conkwives dressed in whorish catwoman or erotic witch costumes - desperately hoping to catch the attention of their disinterested husbands - fat sloppy tits and cellulite hanging all over the place, drinking way too much and loudly discussing how much they want to fuck the black kid who sells em their Oxy's. Husbands all invariably still dressed in their work clothes (suit or scrubs) hear it all and don't give a shit because they're banging everything in the office, including the FAX machine. The minute their whores gave birth, they quit paying attention to em. They hate women.

4. Several of the conk alpha males are in Mariah's (teen daughter) bedroom upstairs, trying on her clothes and using hunting binoculars to scope out little boys in Batman or Darth Vader tights.

5. The nights typically end in massive violence due to copious alcohol consumption coupled with mental illness.

6. It's 3am and their kids walked home hours ago, alone.

[AZGrizFan]

I know. I can't wait for tonight.

[D1B]

I know. I can't wait for tonight.

What are you giving out tonight? Dirty looks and tirades?

[D1B]

I know. I can't wait for tonight.

Thank for sending the great pic of last year's party! So no one wore costumes??? That's a shame.



Conks

[andy7171]

1. They're the only houses on the block with no decorations even though they all have at least 4 conk larvae, all three SUV's in the driveway, outdoor lights shut off, shades pulled on all the windows so they can delude themselves into thinking no one knows they're actually home. All a ruse to avoid a hand out to kids with parents who, in their opinion, are not working hard enough. And, they're just cheap.

2. In the finished basements of said homes there's invariably an invite-only "private" Halloween party attended by families who meet a certain income threshold. Even though the party is supposed be for children, most of the snacks, food, decor and drink are really for adults - Smoked salmon and capers, bacon wrapped chestnuts, champagne, Bud Light, Jameson's... All the kids are upstairs in Tegan's room playing GTA V on Xbox and smoking fake pot. Conks, privately, don't give a flying fuck about their children.

3. Unfulfilled, rapidly aging conkwives dressed in whorish catwoman or erotic witch costumes - desperately hoping to catch the attention of their disinterested husbands - fat sloppy tits and cellulite hanging all over the place, drinking way too much and loudly discussing how much they want to fuck the black kid who sells em their Oxy's. Husbands all invariably still dressed in their work clothes (suit or scrubs) hear it all and don't give a shit because they're banging everything in the office, including the FAX machine. The minute their whores gave birth, they quit paying attention to em. They hate women.

4. Several of the conk alpha males are in Mariah's (teen daughter) bedroom upstairs, trying on her clothes and using hunting binoculars to scope out little boys in Batman or Darth Vader tights.

5. The nights typically end in massive violence due to copious alcohol consumption coupled with mental illness.

6. It's 3am and their kids walked home hours ago, alone.

This could be your best work in a long time, D.

[AZGrizFan]

I know. I can't wait for tonight.

What are you giving out tonight? Dirty looks and tirades?

Only to the ragheads.

[Ibanez]

1. They're the only houses on the block with no decorations even though they all have at least 4 conk larvae, all three SUV's in the driveway, outdoor lights shut off, shades pulled on all the windows so they can delude themselves into thinking no one knows they're actually home. All a ruse to avoid a hand out to kids with parents who, in their opinion, are not working hard enough. And, they're just cheap.

2. In the finished basements of said homes there's invariably an invite-only "private" Halloween party attended by families who meet a certain income threshold. Even though the party is supposed be for children, most of the snacks, food, decor and drink are really for adults - Smoked salmon and capers, bacon wrapped chestnuts, champagne, Bud Light, Jameson's... All the kids are upstairs in Tegan's room playing GTA V on Xbox and smoking fake pot. Conks, privately, don't give a flying fuck about their children.

3. Unfulfilled, rapidly aging conkwives dressed in whorish catwoman or erotic witch costumes - desperately hoping to catch the attention of their disinterested husbands - fat sloppy tits and cellulite hanging all over the place, drinking way too much and loudly discussing how much they want to fuck the black kid who sells em their Oxy's. Husbands all invariably still dressed in their work clothes (suit or scrubs) hear it all and don't give a shit because they're banging everything in the office, including the FAX machine. The minute their whores gave birth, they quit paying attention to em. They hate women.

4. Several of the conk alpha males are in Mariah's (teen daughter) bedroom upstairs, trying on her clothes and using hunting binoculars to scope out little boys in Batman or Darth Vader tights.

5. The nights typically end in massive violence due to copious alcohol consumption coupled with mental illness.

6. It's 3am and their kids walked home hours ago, alone.

Great work.

I'm not a conk or a donk but I don't hand out candy. It's too fucking expensive and I just don't care.

[ASUG8]

1. They're the only houses on the block with no decorations even though they all have at least 4 conk larvae, all three SUV's in the driveway, outdoor lights shut off, shades pulled on all the windows so they can delude themselves into thinking no one knows they're actually home. All a ruse to avoid a hand out to kids with parents who, in their opinion, are not working hard enough. And, they're just cheap.

2. In the finished basements of said homes there's invariably an invite-only "private" Halloween party attended by families who meet a certain income threshold. Even though the party is supposed be for children, most of the snacks, food, decor and drink are really for adults - Smoked salmon and capers, bacon wrapped chestnuts, champagne, Bud Light, Jameson's... All the kids are upstairs in Tegan's room playing GTA V on Xbox and smoking fake pot. Conks, privately, don't give a flying fuck about their children.

3. Unfulfilled, rapidly aging conkwives dressed in whorish catwoman or erotic witch costumes - desperately hoping to catch the attention of their disinterested husbands - fat sloppy tits and cellulite hanging all over the place, drinking way too much and loudly discussing how much they want to fuck the black kid who sells em their Oxy's. Husbands all invariably still dressed in their work clothes (suit or scrubs) hear it all and don't give a shit because they're banging everything in the office, including the FAX machine. The minute their whores gave birth, they quit paying attention to em. They hate women.

4. Several of the conk alpha males are in Mariah's (teen daughter) bedroom upstairs, trying on her clothes and using hunting binoculars to scope out little boys in Batman or Darth Vader tights.

5. The nights typically end in massive violence due to copious alcohol consumption coupled with mental illness.

6. It's 3am and their kids walked home hours ago, alone.

Nice job.

Donk Halloween is a little more simple:

1. Turn out the lights at your place - you can't hand out candy if you aren't home, right? Save the EBT money for important stuff like beer and cigarettes.
2. Grab some pillowcases for your 4 kids - their Dads would take them out trick or treating, but that's three phone calls and I ain't got time for dat. No need for a costume even if it's homemade.
3. Go to the people's houses with jobs and get free stuff - it's the American way.

[Cap'n Cat]

1. They're the only houses on the block with no decorations even though they all have at least 4 conk larvae, all three SUV's in the driveway, outdoor lights shut off, shades pulled on all the windows so they can delude themselves into thinking no one knows they're actually home. All a ruse to avoid a hand out to kids with parents who, in their opinion, are not working hard enough. And, they're just cheap.

2. In the finished basements of said homes there's invariably an invite-only "private" Halloween party attended by families who meet a certain income threshold. Even though the party is supposed be for children, most of the snacks, food, decor and drink are really for adults - Smoked salmon and capers, bacon wrapped chestnuts, champagne, Bud Light, Jameson's... All the kids are upstairs in Tegan's room playing GTA V on Xbox and smoking fake pot. Conks, privately, don't give a flying fuck about their children.

3. Unfulfilled, rapidly aging conkwives dressed in whorish catwoman or erotic witch costumes - desperately hoping to catch the attention of their disinterested husbands - fat sloppy tits and cellulite hanging all over the place, drinking way too much and loudly discussing how much they want to fuck the black kid who sells em their Oxy's. Husbands all invariably still dressed in their work clothes (suit or scrubs) hear it all and don't give a shit because they're banging everything in the office, including the FAX machine. The minute their whores gave birth, they quit paying attention to em. They hate women.

4. Several of the conk alpha males are in Mariah's (teen daughter) bedroom upstairs, trying on her clothes and using hunting binoculars to scope out little boys in Batman or Darth Vader tights.

5. The nights typically end in massive violence due to copious alcohol consumption coupled with mental illness.

6. It's 3am and their kids walked home hours ago, alone.

Nice job.

Donk Halloween is a little more simple:

1. Turn out the lights at your place - you can't hand out candy if you aren't home, right? Save the EBT money for important stuff like beer and cigarettes.
2. Grab some pillowcases for your 4 kids - their Dads would take them out trick or treating, but that's three phone calls and I ain't got time for dat. No need for a costume even if it's homemade.
3. Go to the people's houses with jobs and get free stuff - it's the American way.

Took you, what, 34 seconds to come up with that, 8r?

[89Hen]

Good work D. Around here it is easy to tell the conks and donks apart. The donks drive their kids to the conk hoods where it's safe, good candy is handed out, people are outside looking out for each other. Meanwhile the donk hoods maybe are more in the Halloween spirit... dark, scary and full of tricks.

[Cap'n Cat]

Good work D. Around here it is easy to tell the conks and donks apart. The donks drive their kids to the conk hoods where it's safe, good candy is handed out, people are outside looking out for each other. Meanwhile the donk hoods maybe are more in the Halloween spirit... dark, scary and full of tricks.

Conks largely created the the hoods from whence come the poor. Taking their kids to Conk hoods is nothing less than claiming their "trickle down" benefits.

What a maroon.....

[Pwns]

You got us all wrong, D. Halloween is the celebration of paganism and satanism and greatly displeases our lord and savior Jesus Christ. We hand out Jesus pamplets to any trick or treaters and don't get invovled with any of that stuff.

[89Hen]

Good work D. Around here it is easy to tell the conks and donks apart. The donks drive their kids to the conk hoods where it's safe, good candy is handed out, people are outside looking out for each other. Meanwhile the donk hoods maybe are more in the Halloween spirit... dark, scary and full of tricks.

Conks largely created the the hoods from whence come the poor. Taking their kids to Conk hoods is nothing less than claiming their "trickle down" benefits..

So what?

[Cap'n Cat]

Conks largely created the the hoods from whence come the poor. Taking their kids to Conk hoods is nothing less than claiming their "trickle down" benefits..

So what?

[ASUG8]

Nice job.

Donk Halloween is a little more simple:

1. Turn out the lights at your place - you can't hand out candy if you aren't home, right? Save the EBT money for important stuff like beer and cigarettes.
2. Grab some pillowcases for your 4 kids - their Dads would take them out trick or treating, but that's three phone calls and I ain't got time for dat. No need for a costume even if it's homemade.
3. Go to the people's houses with jobs and get free stuff - it's the American way.

Took you, what, 34 seconds to come up with that, 8r?

If that much, Cappy. DB1 just added some additional prose to his stereotypes - I took the most simplistic approach.

[Cap'n Cat]

Took you, what, 34 seconds to come up with that, 8r?

If that much, Cappy. DB1 just added some additional prose to his stereotypes - I took the most simplistic approach.

I see. Carry on, then.

[Cap'n Cat]

[Cap'n Cat]

Z, Hoagie, Hen......

[ASUG8]

I told our HR guy I was dressed as a gruntled employee today. He's from Arkansas, so it took him a few minutes to figure it out.

[D1B]

Good work D. Around here it is easy to tell the conks and donks apart. The donks drive their kids to the conk hoods where it's safe, good candy is handed out, people are outside looking out for each other. Meanwhile the donk hoods maybe are more in the Halloween spirit... dark, scary and full of tricks.

Bad hoods are a direct result of your vocation (red lining) and political beliefs, both of which are antithetical to christ's message. Like Col. Handjob, You are a huge fucking hypocrit.

Redlining is the practice of denying, or charging more for, services such as banking, insurance,[2] access to health care,[3] or even supermarkets,[4] or denying jobs to residents in particular, often racially determined,[5] areas. The term "redlining" was coined in the late 1960s by John McKnight, a sociologist and community activist.[6] It refers to the practice of marking a red line on a map to delineate the area where banks would not invest; later the term was applied to discrimination against a particular group of people (usually by race or sex) irrespective of geography. During the heyday of redlining, the areas most frequently discriminated against were black inner city neighborhoods.

[CAA Flagship]

Good work D. Around here it is easy to tell the conks and donks apart. The donks drive their kids to the conk hoods where it's safe, good candy is handed out, people are outside looking out for each other. Meanwhile the donk hoods maybe are more in the Halloween spirit... dark, scary and full of tricks.

Bad hoods are a direct result of your vocation (red lining) and political beliefs, both of which are antithetical to christ's message. Like Col. Handjob, You are a huge fucking hypocrit.

Redlining is the practice of denying, or charging more for, services such as banking, insurance,[2] access to health care,[3] or even supermarkets,[4] or denying jobs to residents in particular, often racially determined,[5] areas. The term "redlining" was coined in the late 1960s by John McKnight, a sociologist and community activist.[6] It refers to the practice of marking a red line on a map to delineate the area where banks would not invest; later the term was applied to discrimination against a particular group of people (usually by race or sex) irrespective of geography. During the heyday of redlining, the areas most frequently discriminated against were black inner city neighborhoods.

In my neighborhood, we are charged more for services because they think we have more money.
And they are right. But it is still bullshit.
So it works both ways.

[89Hen]

Good work D. Around here it is easy to tell the conks and donks apart. The donks drive their kids to the conk hoods where it's safe, good candy is handed out, people are outside looking out for each other. Meanwhile the donk hoods maybe are more in the Halloween spirit... dark, scary and full of tricks.

Bad hoods are a direct result of your vocation (red lining) and political beliefs, both of which are antithetical to christ's message. Like Col. Handjob, You are a huge fucking hypocrit.

Yeah, that's the problem.

[D1B]

Bad hoods are a direct result of your vocation (red lining) and political beliefs, both of which are antithetical to christ's message. Like Col. Handjob, You are a huge fucking hypocrit.

Yeah, that's the problem.

Yep, greedy Ayn Rand fucks like you. Agree.

[D1B]

Bad hoods are a direct result of your vocation (red lining) and political beliefs, both of which are antithetical to christ's message. Like Col. Handjob, You are a huge fucking hypocrit.

In my neighborhood, we are charged more for services because they think we have more money.
And they are right. But it is still bullshit.
So it works both ways.

Waaaah, Waaaah, Waaah - no one gives a shit.

[Gil Dobie]

1. They're the only houses on the block with no decorations even though they all have at least 4 conk larvae, all three SUV's in the driveway, outdoor lights shut off, shades pulled on all the windows so they can delude themselves into thinking no one knows they're actually home. All a ruse to avoid a hand out to kids with parents who, in their opinion, are not working hard enough. And, they're just cheap.

2. In the finished basements of said homes there's invariably an invite-only "private" Halloween party attended by families who meet a certain income threshold. Even though the party is supposed be for children, most of the snacks, food, decor and drink are really for adults - Smoked salmon and capers, bacon wrapped chestnuts, champagne, Bud Light, Jameson's... All the kids are upstairs in Tegan's room playing GTA V on Xbox and smoking fake pot. Conks, privately, don't give a flying **** about their children.

3. Unfulfilled, rapidly aging conkwives dressed in whorish catwoman or erotic witch costumes - desperately hoping to catch the attention of their disinterested husbands - fat sloppy tits and cellulite hanging all over the place, drinking way too much and loudly discussing how much they want to **** the black kid who sells em their Oxy's. Husbands all invariably still dressed in their work clothes (suit or scrubs) hear it all and don't give a **** because they're banging everything in the office, including the FAX machine. The minute their whores gave birth, they quit paying attention to em. They hate women.

4. Several of the conk alpha males are in Mariah's (teen daughter) bedroom upstairs, trying on her clothes and using hunting binoculars to scope out little boys in Batman or Darth Vader tights.

5. The nights typically end in massive violence due to copious alcohol consumption coupled with mental illness.

6. It's 3am and their kids walked home hours ago, alone.

Sounds like you are going to have a pretty stale party there D.