Wedgebuster wrote:kalm wrote:
This.
A buddy of mine and his girlfriend went backpacking around the big island, got married on a bluff above the ocean with a priest and the photographer as witnesses. They didn't tell anybody until they got back.
Weddings should be the business of the couple only.
Chicks ruin it by involving everyone else. Chicks. 
At the moment the family is seated, and just before the bride enters, I take a look around from my seat, and see the looks on the faces of the women (chicks included) and then the men, and I came to this very conclusion, it is indeed a conspiracy by women to fully take charge of a situation where all the emphasis is upon them, and to publicly humiliate men as much as possible, and feel entirely justified.
This, and it's also an opportunity for fathers to flaunt wealth/waste money and be king dickhead for a day.
And they let you know how much it cost by constantly reminding anyone who'll will listen that "I paid a fortune for this shin dig" or "I went with the open bar because my princess is worth it" or "I'll have to come out of retirement to pay for this soiree" or "shall we shoot a game of billiards, loser pays for half of this bash?" or "The way I figure it, I only have one daughter, might as well shoot for the moon. Well, I have another daughter, but she aint the marrying type, if you know what I mean. Unless of course they pass same sex marriage,
hardy har har har..." or "Anyone have any job openings? I'll need one when I get this bill, hardy har har har..." or "I requested no Mexicans on staff, not even in the kitchen otherwise, Margie did everything, I just pay the bill" or "Lobster my ass!, did you want a fucking shellfish or the open bar!?...thought so, now shut the fuck up Opie and give me one of those cigars." or "They'll pay me back with grandchildren" or "I'm sending them the bill if they don't make it to 2020!" or "They had a choice, the wedding or a downpayment on a house. She aint the smartest tool in the shed, but with that ass, she don't need to be. She inherited it from Margie. Of course you wouldn't guess it now, the fucking blimp. She gained 100lbs. less than 6 months after we got married. I tried to divorce her fat ass in '94 but unbeknownst to me, she found the pictures of me and my law partner Ernie laying pipe...and well here I am. Say, any of you fellas smoke weed?" or "Hey, will someone pass a hat, I need help paying for this party! hardy har har har" or "Never in my life did I ever imagine I would have to pay for 125 made in China ceramic swans" or "This mahfucker cost me a fortune, they better fucking show up!" or "Sooo, mini sliders for the rehearsal dinner and lobster fettucinni or NY Strips for the wedding...hmmmmm.....hardy har har har....just kidding...hardy har har har....." or " I paid for this party and you will play the Pina Colada song!" or "Biggest fucking waste of money....." or "you shoulda seen the queer who decorated this dump. I wanted to kill his fag ass right then and there... god I hate fags." or "hey, how many of those you gonna have?...have mercy on me Phil! hardy har har.."
"Sarah Palin absolutely blew AWAY the audience tonight. If there was any doubt as to whether she was savvy enough, tough enough or smart enough to carry the mantle of Vice President, she put those fears to rest tonight. She took on Barack Obama DIRECTLY on every issue and exposed... She did it with warmth and humor, and came across as the every-person....it's becoming mroe and more clear that she was a genius pick for McCain."
AZGrizfan - Summer 2008