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THE BISON FAN MANIFESTO

A humorous account of NDSU Fandom. 16 August 2011

Note: All users are encouraged to submit principles for inclusion.

INTRODUCTION

The foundation of all FCS discourse centers around the advancement of one's athletics party. Teams are in constant competition for scarce resources, and message board users have no interests separable from those of the university as a whole. The essential condition of every message board thread is a battle for relevance, arbitrated by the media. Eventually, the number of posts and threads will reflect the size and willpower of each respective fanbase, creating content disparities that cannot be overthrown.

POSITION OF THE BISON IN RELATION TO THE MISSOURI VALLEY FOOTBALL CONFERENCE

As a new member of the Missouri Valley Football Conference, North Dakota State University (NDSU) is disadvantaged in the timing of its access to the media. In addition to geographic limitations and the growth of its conference, NDSU did not win the MVFC in 2010.

SHORT-TERM DEMANDS

1. The subversion of all non-NDSU threads will diminish the impact of their content and reduce posts to a state of disorganization and classless name-calling.
2. Explicit hyperbole concerning NDSU achievements will create a stronger sense of tradition within FCS.
3. Direct reproach for all critics may create greater tolerance among those unfamiliar with the FCS.
4. Vivid anecdotes of message board oppression will wake moderate NDSU fans from their apathy.
5. The extension of goodwill to others oppressed may create a climate of antipathy for the status quo.

For a non-NDSU fan I think your demands are harsh and boarding on anarchist.

Overall I like the attempt!

put down the crack pipe

lakesbison wrote:put down the crack pipe

You don't even know what 'manifesto' means, do you?

Grizalltheway wrote:

lakesbison wrote:put down the crack pipe

You don't even know what 'manifesto' means, do you?

And you my friend don't know what bullshit means!

JBB wrote:

Grizalltheway wrote:
You don't even know what 'manifesto' means, do you?

And you my friend don't know what bullshit means!

He reads it every time you post...

put down the crack pipe

I feel that the caustic nature of your response was unwittingly disserviceable to the representation of your fanbase. See Short Demands (#3).

Screamin Eagle, how did you know I was fond of pigtails?

who will win the coveted DAKOTA BIG 3 trophy????????

alvin kayak wrote:Screamin Eagle, how did you know I was fond of pigtails?

Show me a man who doesn't like pigtails and I'll show you...well, you get the idea.

weberwildcat wrote:who will win the coveted DAKOTA BIG 3 trophy????????

JBB will. Clearly. Given that the "Dakota Big 3" is actually a traveling trophy for a buffalo-wing eating contest between JaBBer, Lakes and MplsBison. (Lakes always chokes halfway through and Mpls is usually too drunk to concentrate)

pictured: "Dakota Big 3 Trophy"

i just have the 2 hotties on my lap eat the wings

All joking aside, Lakesbison, are there any attractive women in the Dakotas? I can only imagine they would migrate to warmer climates.

lakesbison wrote:i just have the 2 hotties on my lap eat the wings

JBB and Mpls aren't hotties.

alvin kayak wrote:All joking aside, Lakesbison, are there any attractive women in the Dakotas? I can only imagine they would migrate to warmer climates.

I've heard that temperature isn't a big deal for them, they just migrate to where there's plenty of grass to feed on.

Screamin_Eagle174 wrote:

alvin kayak wrote:All joking aside, Lakesbison, are there any attractive women in the Dakotas? I can only imagine they would migrate to warmer climates.

I've heard that temperature isn't a big deal for them, they just migrate to where there's plenty of grass to feed on.

They are actually human in ND, it's not like sheepherder's special under the eastern Washington/western Montana moonlight.

I've never been to North Dakota, but I have been to South Dakota. I always remember the joke that SD had a beer can as it's state flower and a signpost as it's state tree. Actually, it's a pretty nice place... quite comparable to Eastern Washington. And for those that want to diss, don't. I've been to a lot of places in the SW and midwest that are far uglier by a wide margin. (see: Western Kansas, Southern Wyoming, Central Utah, about half of Texas, the entire dusty state of Oklahoma, anything south of Sedona and north of Tucson in Arizona, etc.)

LDopaPDX wrote:I've never been to North Dakota, but I have been to South Dakota. I always remember the joke that SD had a beer can as it's state flower and a signpost as it's state tree. Actually, it's a pretty nice place... quite comparable to Eastern Washington. And for those that want to diss, don't. I've been to a lot of places in the SW and midwest that are far uglier by a wide margin. (see: Western Kansas, Southern Wyoming, Central Utah, about half of Texas, the entire dusty state of Oklahoma, anything south of Sedona and north of Tucson in Arizona, etc.)

Here's a newsflash for you: EVERY state has it's shithole areas, and sometimes it's just the time of year you're there. Western North Dakota is beautiful with the Badlands and such. If you were in Arizona in July, then yeah, it's pretty ugly. Visit that same area (that you outlined) in March and it's absolutely gorgeous, with gorgeous weather to boot.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Gil Dobie wrote:

Screamin_Eagle174 wrote:
I've heard that temperature isn't a big deal for them, they just migrate to where there's plenty of grass to feed on.

They are actually human in ND, it's not like sheepherder's special under the eastern Washington/western Montana moonlight.

Another high school-er who has never looked at a map.

LDopaPDX wrote:I've never been to North Dakota, but I have been to South Dakota. I always remember the joke that SD had a beer can as it's state flower and a signpost as it's state tree. Actually, it's a pretty nice place... quite comparable to Eastern Washington. And for those that want to diss, don't. I've been to a lot of places in the SW and midwest that are far uglier by a wide margin. (see: Western Kansas, Southern Wyoming, Central Utah, about half of Texas, the entire dusty state of Oklahoma, anything south of Sedona and north of Tucson in Arizona, etc.)

I don't know, that stretch from the Tri-Cities to Spokompton is pretty God awful, at least this time of year.

Grizalltheway wrote:

LDopaPDX wrote:I've never been to North Dakota, but I have been to South Dakota. I always remember the joke that SD had a beer can as it's state flower and a signpost as it's state tree. Actually, it's a pretty nice place... quite comparable to Eastern Washington. And for those that want to diss, don't. I've been to a lot of places in the SW and midwest that are far uglier by a wide margin. (see: Western Kansas, Southern Wyoming, Central Utah, about half of Texas, the entire dusty state of Oklahoma, anything south of Sedona and north of Tucson in Arizona, etc.)

I don't know, that stretch from the Tri-Cities to Spokompton is pretty God awful, at least this time of year.

Not a whole lot to look at in there but don't forget this:

griz8791 wrote:

Grizalltheway wrote:
I don't know, that stretch from the Tri-Cities to Spokompton is pretty God awful, at least this time of year.

Not a whole lot to look at in there but don't forget this:

That's my point from earlier in the thread. On the surface, the "Wenatchee to Spokompton" stretch is ugly....but if you get off the freeway, there are some really pretty areas. Same with eastern Montana, central Arizona, eastern Wyoming, etc., etc., etc. If all you know of a state is what you see from the freeway, you really don't know the state.

Grizalltheway wrote:

LDopaPDX wrote:I've never been to North Dakota, but I have been to South Dakota. I always remember the joke that SD had a beer can as it's state flower and a signpost as it's state tree. Actually, it's a pretty nice place... quite comparable to Eastern Washington. And for those that want to diss, don't. I've been to a lot of places in the SW and midwest that are far uglier by a wide margin. (see: Western Kansas, Southern Wyoming, Central Utah, about half of Texas, the entire dusty state of Oklahoma, anything south of Sedona and north of Tucson in Arizona, etc.)

I don't know, that stretch from the Tri-Cities to Spokompton is pretty God awful, at least this time of year.

You don't have to tell me. I'm from the "Try," or the "Dry Shitties," and made that trip too many times to count. Once you get up near Sprague though it starts to become somewhat scenic, especially at dusk.

Gil Dobie wrote:

Screamin_Eagle174 wrote:
I've heard that temperature isn't a big deal for them, they just migrate to where there's plenty of grass to feed on.

They are actually human in ND, it's not like sheepherder's special under the eastern Washington/western Montana moonlight.

See, you have it all mixed up.

Eastern Washington is where are the Meth heads and wanna be gangsters are. Western Montana is where not only is everyone on meth, but sex for money/also sodomy is the norm. It's when you get into the Dakotas that you really have to worry, because not only is sex for money/also sodomy the norm, but anything that's warm and can walk is considered human. And you guys do that while sober.

Grizalltheway wrote:

LDopaPDX wrote:I've never been to North Dakota, but I have been to South Dakota. I always remember the joke that SD had a beer can as it's state flower and a signpost as it's state tree. Actually, it's a pretty nice place... quite comparable to Eastern Washington. And for those that want to diss, don't. I've been to a lot of places in the SW and midwest that are far uglier by a wide margin. (see: Western Kansas, Southern Wyoming, Central Utah, about half of Texas, the entire dusty state of Oklahoma, anything south of Sedona and north of Tucson in Arizona, etc.)

I don't know, that stretch from the Tri-Cities to Spokompton is pretty God awful, at least this time of year.

My bad, you are correct. The Shitties are a terrible place.