BREAKING: Montana Drops Football Citing Lack Of Crappy Oppon
Posted: Thu Apr 01, 2010 12:53 pm
Missoula, MT - The University of Montana has announced today that they are immediately dropping its football team as a result of so few teams west of the Mississippi that they can actually beat.
During the news conference that was held in the last hour a reporter asked why Montana can't just schedule tough opponents and travel east to play games. IN attempting to respond, Athletic Director Jim O'Day broke down laughing for about six minutes at the suggestion, when he finally composed himself he told reporters if Montana had to play tough games they would actually lose some and the result would be less fan interest and attendance figures similar to Northeastern University.
As for the suggestion of traveling east O'Day said "We don't travel for anyone".
Another reporter suggested that Montana could easily schedule winnable games if they would schedule FBS teams, O'Day responded saying he would be willing to schedule these type of games but has had no luck finding a team willing to travel to Missoula for a game.
In related news Missoula police are at the scene of a hostage situation at the Montana Athletic Department. Sources tell us an armed man named Chris Lynn is holding O'Day hostage and that there is a pissed off pig outside trying to gain access to the building.
During the news conference that was held in the last hour a reporter asked why Montana can't just schedule tough opponents and travel east to play games. IN attempting to respond, Athletic Director Jim O'Day broke down laughing for about six minutes at the suggestion, when he finally composed himself he told reporters if Montana had to play tough games they would actually lose some and the result would be less fan interest and attendance figures similar to Northeastern University.
As for the suggestion of traveling east O'Day said "We don't travel for anyone".
Another reporter suggested that Montana could easily schedule winnable games if they would schedule FBS teams, O'Day responded saying he would be willing to schedule these type of games but has had no luck finding a team willing to travel to Missoula for a game.
In related news Missoula police are at the scene of a hostage situation at the Montana Athletic Department. Sources tell us an armed man named Chris Lynn is holding O'Day hostage and that there is a pissed off pig outside trying to gain access to the building.
