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Nice rant here. I especially like the bit about the story of a 600 year old Noah being like Clint Eastwood and how all 3 million animals he put on the ark miraculously must have lived within 5 miles.

BTW, this entire episode was good (except for the monologue of course…he's terrible at monologues. )

"What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie."
"Hey, God, you know you're kind of a dick when you're in a movie with Russell Crowe and you're the one with anger issues."

"You know conservatives are always going on about how Americans are losing their values and their morality, well maybe it's because you worship a guy who drowns babies."

"If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away."

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld_tg4W7Hf8[/youtube]
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/1 ... 70831.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Quoting Bill Maher on theology.

Bill Maher.

JoltinJoe wrote:Quoting Bill Maher on theology.

Bill Maher.

Yes. Only believers should have an opinion. Everyone else is a dunce…Hitchens, Dawkins, Nye, Tyson, the Lama…morons.

kalm wrote:

JoltinJoe wrote:Quoting Bill Maher on theology.

Bill Maher.

Yes. Only believers should have an opinion. Everyone else is a dunce…Hitchens, Dawkins, Nye, Tyson, the Lama…morons.

They're not honest. They make straw man arguments. They are simpletons. They distort our faith, our text, and then make dishonest arguments. You want to take theological instruction from a dope like Bill Maher, don't expect respect from the truly learned and well read (like me).

kalm wrote:Nice rant here. I especially like the bit about the story of a 600 year old Noah being like Clint Eastwood and how all 3 million animals he put on the ark miraculously must have lived within 5 miles.

BTW, this entire episode was good (except for the monologue of course…he's terrible at monologues. )

"What kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean, besides Chris Christie."
"Hey, God, you know you're kind of a dick when you're in a movie with Russell Crowe and you're the one with anger issues."

"You know conservatives are always going on about how Americans are losing their values and their morality, well maybe it's because you worship a guy who drowns babies."

"If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away."

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ld_tg4W7Hf8[/youtube]
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/1 ... 70831.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I normally don't defend the Bible (and I think Joltin Joe will love this) Billy is dead wrong. It's a common misconception to think that Noah took 2 of every single animal in the world. The known world in the Bible, during this event was so small as compared to the world that we live in. We live in a world where we know about things that "Noah" would never have known. It isn't meant to say he he animals indigenous to Australia, South America, Antarctica, etc... It's an allegorical story. When I was in Catholic school they taught us that Noah didn't save every single species on Earth. It was the animals of their world (which naturally floods).

JoltinJoe wrote:

kalm wrote:
Yes. Only believers should have an opinion. Everyone else is a dunce…Hitchens, Dawkins, Nye, Tyson, the Lama…morons.

They're not honest. They make straw man arguments. They are simpletons. They distort our faith, our text, and then make dishonest arguments. You want to take theological instruction from a dope like Bill Maher, don't expect respect from the truly learned and well read (like me).

To be honest, JJ, Christians distort your faith, text and make dishonest arguments. Westboro, Church (this is Catholic and Protestant) sanctioned slavery, Christian and Muslim extremists, the Crusades, the Inquisition, Spanish Conquistadors, etc...

Granted, Bill Maher is entitled to his opinion, even if it's off base. I consider him to be a nut. He's an entertainer on the same level of Rush, Beck, Maddow, Nancy Grace, etc...

Who gets to pick which stories are allegory?

Mayer makes me want to kick puppies.

Not because of this rant, just for using up our air. What an arrogant douchebag.

Vidav wrote:Who gets to pick which stories are allegory?

They all are. In fact, doesn't the Bible state that? The stories are based on real events which use God as the explanation (of course, there was no science back then. We know God didn't flood the earth. We also know the biblical world is in a land that floods frequently). They are written to make a point.

Yes, the story of Noah, like all of Genesis, is allegorical and not to be taken literally, although there is significant evidence of a great flood which took many lives. The point of the story is generally to identify man's sinfulness as the cause of an imperfect world in which catastrophes occur, and in that respect the story is consistent with the creation allegory of Genesis. The story is also significant because it specifies the existence of a covenant between God and man.

There well have been a man named Noah who survived the flood with members of his family, but he certainly did not build an enormous ark (he may have built a small, floating vessel which saved him and his family). He didn't take two of every known creature with him on the ark, although he may have saved some animals essential to his family's existence). No doubt, no matter how great the flood, not all mankind perished, and not every animal on the face of the planet died.

The allegory of Noah's Ark also ties into a Gospel story about a tragic collapse of a tower which killed 16 people, and Jesus' explanation about that tragedy.

Again, the Bible must be as a whole, and there is certainly a link between the allegory of Noah and Jesus' explanation concerning catastrophic events.

So Bill Maher is a

JoltinJoe wrote:Yes, the story of Noah, like all of Genesis, is allegorical and not to be taken literally, although there is significant evidence of a great flood which took many lives. The point of the story is generally to identify man's sinfulness as the cause of an imperfect world in which catastrophes occur, and in that respect the story is consistent with the creation allegory of Genesis. The story is also significant because it specifies the existence of a covenant between God and man.

There well have been a man named Noah who survived the flood with members of his family, but he certainly did not build an enormous ark (he may have built a small, floating vessel which saved him and his family). He didn't take two of every known creature with him on the ark, although he may have saved some animals essential to his family's existence). No doubt, no matter how great the flood, not all mankind perished, and not every animal on the face of the planet died.

The allegory of Noah's Ark also ties into a Gospel story about a tragic collapse of a tower which killed 16 people, and Jesus' explanation about that tragedy.

Again, the Bible must be as a whole, and there is certainly a link between the allegory of Noah and Jesus' explanation concerning catastrophic events.

So Bill Maher is a

Of course there is evidence. The "land between two rivers" is famous for flooding to the point of devastation.

JoltinJoe wrote:not every animal on the face of the planet died.

Just the unicorns

Joe,

Returns to get his ass kicked again.

Thanks guys for taking over, my foot is sore.



Joltin Joe=

Ibanumbskull is the most stupid. Idiot is always claiming he studied history but he don't know shit.

Dumb fucker.

D1B wrote:Ibanumbskull is the most stupid. Idiot is always claiming he studied history but he don't know shit.

Dumb fucker.

Is the most stupid what? If you're going to be a bad ass and call people names, at least know your shit. You're fucking pathetic. It's a shame your sister didn't swallow you down that night.

D1B wrote:Joe,

Returns to get his ass kicked again.

Thanks guys for taking over, my foot is sore.



Joltin Joe=

It's pointless discussing anything with an arrogant prick like you. People like you are what's wrong with this world. People that can't put aside a difference opinion to listen to another person. All you do is attack others, quote Hitchens and then claim victory. For a person that has studied nothing other than the inside of a bong and a Hustler since 1979, you sure do act like an authority on everything and anything.

Ibanez wrote:

D1B wrote:Joe,

Returns to get his ass kicked again.

Thanks guys for taking over, my foot is sore.



Joltin Joe=

It's pointless discussing anything with an arrogant prick like you. People like you are what's wrong with this world. People that can't put aside a difference opinion to listen to another person. All you do is attack others, quote Hitchens and then claim victory. For a person that has studied nothing other than the inside of a bong and a Hustler since 1979, you sure do act like an authority on everything and anything.

Blah, blah, blah... Blame me because you're stupid.

You have thin knowledge of history. Go fuck yourself.

JoltinJoe wrote: The story is also significant because it specifies the existence of a covenant between God and man.

JoltinJoe wrote:
The allegory of Noah's Ark also ties into a Gospel story about a tragic collapse of a tower which killed 16 people, and Jesus' explanation about that tragedy.

SunCoastBlueHen wrote:

JoltinJoe wrote:not every animal on the face of the planet died.

Just the unicorns

You and Larsen are just like Maher. Go study under some learned men (like Joe) before it's too late!

JoltinJoe wrote:Yes, the story of Noah, like all of Genesis, is allegorical and not to be taken literally, although there is significant evidence of a great flood which took many lives. The point of the story is generally to identify man's sinfulness as the cause of an imperfect world in which catastrophes occur, and in that respect the story is consistent with the creation allegory of Genesis. The story is also significant because it specifies the existence of a covenant between God and man.

There well have been a man named Noah who survived the flood with members of his family, but he certainly did not build an enormous ark (he may have built a small, floating vessel which saved him and his family). He didn't take two of every known creature with him on the ark, although he may have saved some animals essential to his family's existence). No doubt, no matter how great the flood, not all mankind perished, and not every animal on the face of the planet died.

The allegory of Noah's Ark also ties into a Gospel story about a tragic collapse of a tower which killed 16 people, and Jesus' explanation about that tragedy.

Again, the Bible must be as a whole, and there is certainly a link between the allegory of Noah and Jesus' explanation concerning catastrophic events.

So Bill Maher is a

I'm sure Maher is unaware of the allegory angle and is 100% serious.

D1B wrote:

Ibanez wrote:
It's pointless discussing anything with an arrogant prick like you. People like you are what's wrong with this world. People that can't put aside a difference opinion to listen to another person. All you do is attack others, quote Hitchens and then claim victory. For a person that has studied nothing other than the inside of a bong and a Hustler since 1979, you sure do act like an authority on everything and anything.

Blah, blah, blah... Blame me because you're stupid.

You have thin knowledge of history. Go fuck yourself.

Is that all you got? Seriously? You think I give a rats ass about what some fat fuck from Wisconsin thinks?



Fuck you Ibanez, I have an encyclopedia knowledge of Religion, Politics, World History, Social Studies, Frito's and shitty music from the 1980's. I AM AN INTERNET GOD!

You're a cheap trick.


May I go ahead and submit your rebuttal?

D1BESTPOSTERONCS says: Ibaclanredneck, you have zero knowledge of anything other than your own farts. Why don't you and Jizzallthegay go fuck each other. NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

JoltinJoe wrote:Yes, the story of Noah, like all of Genesis, is allegorical and not to be taken literally, although there is significant evidence of a great flood which took many lives. The point of the story is generally to identify man's sinfulness as the cause of an imperfect world in which catastrophes occur, and in that respect the story is consistent with the creation allegory of Genesis.The story is also significant because it specifies the existence of a covenant between God and man.
There well have been a man named Noah who survived the flood with members of his family, but he certainly did not build an enormous ark (he may have built a small, floating vessel which saved him and his family). He didn't take two of every known creature with him on the ark, although he may have saved some animals essential to his family's existence). No doubt, no matter how great the flood, not all mankind perished, and not every animal on the face of the planet died.

The allegory of Noah's Ark also ties into a Gospel story about a tragic collapse of a tower which killed 16 people, and Jesus' explanation about that tragedy.

Again, the Bible must be as a whole, and there is certainly a link between the allegory of Noah and Jesus' explanation concerning catastrophic events.

So Bill Maher is a

Thats where it starts to get weird...

Ibanez wrote:

D1B wrote:Ibanumbskull is the most stupid. Idiot is always claiming he studied history but he don't know shit.

Dumb fucker.

Is the most stupid what? If you're going to be a bad ass and call people names, at least know your shit. You're fucking pathetic. It's a shame your sister didn't swallow you down that night.

I don't understand how being an "arrogant prick" is relevant as an observation about the wrongness of something...The world is FULL of arrogant pricks and ass-holes who are making valid points.

I understand William Shakespeare was an arrogant prick
as well as Siegfried Glenzer

Donald Trump is an arrogant prick too... but are all arrogant pricks just like The Donald..?