The Onion Voters Guide To Mitt Romney..
Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 12:35 pm
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That's a play on the Mormon thing where each Holy Elder will become a God (true right from the book of Mormon) and is given (personally by God) their own Planet or world to ruleIvytalk wrote:A Space Ark to found an "interstellar plutocratic aristocracy!"Gotta love The Onion!
When will they hold the lottery for the Ark?
Oh for Christ's sake, Cleets, go back to your own board! A freshly pressed pair of jeans will improve your U-Dub disposition.Chizzang wrote:That's a play on the Mormon thing where each Holy Elder will become a God (true right from the book of Mormon) and is given (personally by God) their own Planet or world to ruleIvytalk wrote:A Space Ark to found an "interstellar plutocratic aristocracy!"Gotta love The Onion!
When will they hold the lottery for the Ark?
Seriously... I mean come on - that's so **** stupid
No more stupid than walking on water, turning water into wine, rising from the dead or ascending to Heaven on a flying horse.Chizzang wrote:That's a play on the Mormon thing where each Holy Elder will become a God (true right from the book of Mormon) and is given (personally by God) their own Planet or world to ruleIvytalk wrote:A Space Ark to found an "interstellar plutocratic aristocracy!"Gotta love The Onion!
When will they hold the lottery for the Ark?
Seriously... I mean come on - that's so fucking stupid
Yes MORE stupid...CitadelGrad wrote:No more stupid than walking on water, turning water into wine, rising from the dead or ascending to Heaven on a flying horse.Chizzang wrote:
That's a play on the Mormon thing where each Holy Elder will become a God (true right from the book of Mormon) and is given (personally by God) their own Planet or world to rule
Seriously... I mean come on - that's so fucking stupid
No. Impossible is impossible. Impossible is absolute. There are no degrees of impossible. All of these things, regardless of the particular religion are impossible. Any talk of the impossible as a possibility is stupid to the same, absolute degree.Chizzang wrote:Yes MORE stupid...CitadelGrad wrote:
No more stupid than walking on water, turning water into wine, rising from the dead or ascending to Heaven on a flying horse.
But I respect your need for it to "not be more stupid"
But it is so clearly MORE STUPID
This is positively karmic.CitadelGrad wrote:No. Impossible is impossible. Impossible is absolute. There are no degrees of impossible. All of these things, regardless of the particular religion are impossible. Any talk of the impossible as a possibility is stupid to the same, absolute degree.Chizzang wrote:
Yes MORE stupid...
But I respect your need for it to "not be more stupid"
But it is so clearly MORE STUPID
"I will ascend to Godhood and be given my own planet to populate"Ivytalk wrote:This is positively karmic.CitadelGrad wrote:
No. Impossible is impossible. Impossible is absolute. There are no degrees of impossible. All of these things, regardless of the particular religion are impossible. Any talk of the impossible as a possibility is stupid to the same, absolute degree.
Not really. When the fiction surrounding Jesus was written, they had no knowledge of planets. Raising the dead and walking on water were the most far-fetched stories they could think of. If they had known about celestial bodies beyond the earth's atmosphere (or even what an atmosphere is), I'm sure their Jesus fiction would have included them.Chizzang wrote:"I will ascend to Godhood and be given my own planet to populate"Ivytalk wrote: This is positively karmic.
Is far MORE stupid than some guy thousands of years ago walking on water and curing the sick with magiks
Face it - one can be more stupid than the other...
It's tough to handle and I understand that - but - it's more stupid
Viola'CitadelGrad wrote:Not really. When the fiction surrounding Jesus was written, they had no knowledge of planets. Raising the dead and walking on water were the most far-fetched stories they could think of. If they had known about celestial bodies beyond the earth's atmosphere (or even what an atmosphere is), I'm sure their Jesus fiction would have included them.Chizzang wrote:
"I will ascend to Godhood and be given my own planet to populate"
Is far MORE stupid than some guy thousands of years ago walking on water and curing the sick with magiks
Face it - one can be more stupid than the other...
It's tough to handle and I understand that - but - it's more stupid
19th Century religious nutters, like the Mormons, knew about planets and developed religious fiction to include them.
Obama claims to embrace the Christian fiction. Romney embraces the Mormon fiction. There really is no difference in the absurdity of their beliefs. Again, the impossible is impossible. Romney's fiction is no more absurd than Obama's fiction.Chizzang wrote:Viola'CitadelGrad wrote:
Not really. When the fiction surrounding Jesus was written, they had no knowledge of planets. Raising the dead and walking on water were the most far-fetched stories they could think of. If they had known about celestial bodies beyond the earth's atmosphere (or even what an atmosphere is), I'm sure their Jesus fiction would have included them.
19th Century religious nutters, like the Mormons, knew about planets and developed religious fiction to include them.
My point exactly
To be ancient and idiotic is understandable / forgivable even
To be essentially modern man and a complete lunatic trapped in fantasy land is just plain old nutty
And that particular claim has never been accepted by the Republican machine, Romney's tithing of millions of dollars to the LDS proves he truly believes his absurd religion and all the underwear and space alien shit that goes with it, so what is exactly YOUR point here?CitadelGrad wrote:Obama claims to embrace the Christian fiction. Romney embraces the Mormon fiction. There really is no difference in the absurdity of their beliefs. Again, the impossible is impossible. Romney's fiction is no more absurd than Obama's fiction.Chizzang wrote:
Viola'
My point exactly
To be ancient and idiotic is understandable / forgivable even
To be essentially modern man and a complete lunatic trapped in fantasy land is just plain old nutty
My point, which should be pretty easy to grasp, is that whatever Obama's religious beliefs are, they are no more or no less absurd than Romney's religious beliefs. It's all nonsense - Judaism, Mormonism, Islam, Christianity.Wedgebuster wrote:And that particular claim has never been accepted by the Republican machine, Romney's tithing of millions of dollars to the LDS proves he truly believes his absurd religion and all the underwear and space alien shit that goes with it, so what is exactly YOUR point here?CitadelGrad wrote:
Obama claims to embrace the Christian fiction. Romney embraces the Mormon fiction. There really is no difference in the absurdity of their beliefs. Again, the impossible is impossible. Romney's fiction is no more absurd than Obama's fiction.
Yeah well... nice try but NOPECitadelGrad wrote:My point, which should be pretty easy to grasp, is that whatever Obama's religious beliefs are, they are no more or no less absurd than Romney's religious beliefs. It's all nonsense - Judaism, Mormonism, Islam, Christianity.Wedgebuster wrote:
And that particular claim has never been accepted by the Republican machine, Romney's tithing of millions of dollars to the LDS proves he truly believes his absurd religion and all the underwear and space alien shit that goes with it, so what is exactly YOUR point here?
Both answers are equally incorrect.Chizzang wrote:Yeah well... nice try but NOPECitadelGrad wrote:
My point, which should be pretty easy to grasp, is that whatever Obama's religious beliefs are, they are no more or no less absurd than Romney's religious beliefs. It's all nonsense - Judaism, Mormonism, Islam, Christianity.
Almost nothing is stupider than free planets being handed out - to which you get to populate
and ascending to Godhood - becoming A GOD..!!!!
![]()
But I do see your point - and it's desperate cling
Something that is false cannot be dumber than something else that is also false - but - that is not so
When: I say 2 + 2 = 4
and Christians answer nope it's Three and we all go... Yeesh and roll our eyes
And then I say: 2 + 2 = 4
and Mormons go nope it's 2,566,781,902,231,444,629.01
Yes they are both wrong
But that is clearly a dumber answer than 3
Agreed - but one is crazier than the otherCitadelGrad wrote:Both answers are equally incorrect.Chizzang wrote:
Yeah well... nice try but NOPE
Almost nothing is stupider than free planets being handed out - to which you get to populate
and ascending to Godhood - becoming A GOD..!!!!
![]()
But I do see your point - and it's desperate cling
Something that is false cannot be dumber than something else that is also false - but - that is not so
When: I say 2 + 2 = 4
and Christians answer nope it's Three and we all go... Yeesh and roll our eyes
And then I say: 2 + 2 = 4
and Mormons go nope it's 2,566,781,902,231,444,629.01
Yes they are both wrong
But that is clearly a dumber answer than 3
Jesus H. Christ, Cleets. Let it go! Would you like to talk about it? (Please say no.) Signed, Dr. Joyce BrothersChizzang wrote:Agreed - but one is crazier than the otherCitadelGrad wrote:
Both answers are equally incorrect.
I'm enjoying this too much...Ivytalk wrote:Jesus H. Christ, Cleets. Let it go! Would you like to talk about it? (Please say no.) Signed, Dr. Joyce BrothersChizzang wrote: Agreed - but one is crazier than the other![]()
How many times do I have to tell you -- I am not a Republican. BTW, I'm not defending Mormonism. Clearly, I'm saying it is crazy. I'm only qualifying it by saying that it is no crazier than any other religion.Chizzang wrote:I'm enjoying this too much...Ivytalk wrote:
Jesus H. Christ, Cleets. Let it go! Would you like to talk about it? (Please say no.) Signed, Dr. Joyce Brothers![]()
Republicans defending Mormonism because - well - they have to now
BTW:
Everybody gets a free planet
and you get to populate it (Mormons are as obsessed with virgins as Muslims are)
And you get to become a God
Really everybody should want this - why everybody doesn't believe this is beyond me...
Right...CitadelGrad wrote:How many times do I have to tell you -- I am not a Republican. BTW, I'm not defending Mormonism. Clearly, I'm saying it is crazy. I'm only qualifying it by saying that it is no crazier than any other religion.Chizzang wrote:
I'm enjoying this too much...
Republicans defending Mormonism because - well - they have to now
BTW:
Everybody gets a free planet
and you get to populate it (Mormons are as obsessed with virgins as Muslims are)
And you get to become a God
Really everybody should want this - why everybody doesn't believe this is beyond me...
At least. I kind of see them as an updated kind of Mormonism.kalm wrote:What about scientologists? Are they equally as wacky as the catholic church?