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Now, you know ol' Cap'n Cat is a bleeding heart liberal, right? That extends to love for animals and support of the aims of PETA and similar such outfits.....more or less.

However, I got me an "issue". Cap'n Cat lives in a nice exurban neighborhood in Minnesota, near some woods. The neighbors down the street (stuck up shitfaces, who abandoned their pet bunnies a year ago, by just letting them loose in the hood) have a cat, Tiger, who roams all year long outside, killing mice and other rodents. OK, that's cool. BUT, today, I saw that fvcker climbing a tree. Moved closer to investigate and the cocksucker was trying to raid a nest! The parent birds were freaking, diving at the bastard and carrying on something fierce to protect their young. I had suspected for some time that the beast was probably killing songbirds, too, something D1B has railed about for years (though I ignored his whinin' ass, mostly).

Anyway, when he got close to the nest, I picked up and hurled at lightning speed (I AM an athlete, after all) a fist-sized rock at it and scared it out of the tree. He scooted away deeper into the woods and probably found another birdie home to raid, the prick.

If I was allowed by law to discharge a firearm in the city limits, I would pick him off from the deck. Then, I thought, why don't I just poison the piece of shit? So, depending on what you guys say, that is my plan. Should I? What substance should I use? Would I be a loathsome Conk if I did it?

Thanks in advance.

Cap'n Cat



"Go ahead, you fat bastard, take a shot."

Pellet gun when nobody's lookin'.....just sayin'....

Although a "liberal ethical dilemma" is an oxymoron, I recommend charcoal briquets as the missile of choice. Easier to fire through small spaces...and they're organic!

Radiator Fluid. Cats love it and it will fuck them up.

I've killed hundreds of dogs and cats with the stuff.

Peace out.

D1B wrote:Radiator Fluid. Cats love it and it will **** them up.

I've killed hundreds of dogs and cats with the stuff.

Peace out.

Have you tried it, and did it fuck you up?

Ivytalk wrote:Although a "liberal ethical dilemma" is an oxymoron, I recommend charcoal briquets as the missile of choice. Easier to fire through small spaces...and they're organic!

D1B wrote:Radiator Fluid. Cats love it and it will fuck them up.

I've killed hundreds of dogs and cats with the stuff.

Peace out.

Why is Cap'n taking sides?

Besides, the birds are the equivalent of Conks...conservative bastards have been around in some form or another ruling since the age of the dinosaur. An Eagle, from above the riff raff, would abuse a poor, lowly cat and scatter his remains about without a second thought.

Cats are the newbies on the block trying to take those old feathered farts down from their pedestals.

Typical donk, messing with nature. Why don't you let nature take its course?

Wait a minute, is the cat kiling Pigeons? If so, I understand your dilemma.

Cluck U wrote:Why is Cap'n taking sides?

Besides, the birds are the equivalent of Conks...conservative bastards have been around in some form or another ruling since the age of the dinosaur. An Eagle, from above the riff raff, would abuse a poor, lowly cat and scatter his remains about without a second thought.

Cats are the newbies on the block trying to take those old feathered farts down from their pedestals.

Good points!!

You know, a lot of what I want to do to that cat is wrapped up in a desire to shit on that family. They've been talking smack about the Commander and the Lieutenant to other neighbors and, though, they would never sink to the level of actually hosting a garage sale as Mama Cat does every summer, they think nothing of bringing over "just a few things" to set out on our driveway, the cvnts.

Well, the dad is cool. He helped dig me out of a snow drift once.

Cats > Birds

/Thread

Ivytalk wrote:

D1B wrote:Radiator Fluid. Cats love it and it will **** them up.

I've killed hundreds of dogs and cats with the stuff.

Peace out.

Have you tried it, and did it fuck you up?

Yes, and according to the great state of South Carolina, no.

D1B wrote:

Ivytalk wrote: Have you tried it, and did it fuck you up?

Yes, and according to the great state of South Carolina, no.

Kill the cat

Cap'n Cat wrote:
Well, the dad is cool. He helped dig me out of a snow drift once.

You fell into a snow drift?

Act like a liberal man, send the cat to social services and let the goverment take care of him.

Here's your answer, you stupid fucking commie-lib-pinko.

Leave nature alone. If you kill the cat, in 2 years we'll be listening to you complain about all the birds waking you up on the weekend.


...oh, wait. I forgot you get off on that.

You should do the proper donk thing and feed the cat. He'll be fat and happy putting out minimal effort, the birds will be protected, and all will be right in the world. Sure, you'll have to shell out cash for a deadbeat cat, but isn't that your civic duty as an American?

Release giant parasitic wasps to take out the cat AND the birds...

ASUG8 wrote:You should do the proper donk thing and feed the cat. He'll be fat and happy putting out minimal effort, the birds will be protected, and all will be right in the world. Sure, you'll have to shell out cash for a deadbeat cat, but isn't that your civic duty as an American?

Seems to me the cat isn't doing anything wrong. He is working hard everyday to provide for himself. We shouldn't get in the way of that. Just because he works harder than Capn doesn't mean that we need to take away his earnings.

Seems like I remember you buying a new home in a planned community about 4 years ago, which makes the likelyhood of a HOA strong. If that is the case you have two possible legal remedies:

a) see if the HOA by-laws addresses animals running free, and
b) see if your local government has a leash law or a fence law for untethered animals.

Taking this route will accomplish a few things...

a) it keeps you legal,
b) you don't kill anything,
c) the assholes at the end of the street will realize you are smarter than they are and have no recourse,
d) it gives you a record of pointing out a problem if they try to harass you in the future... you are on the right side of the issue.

I'd also bet the animals aren't wearing proper licenses either, which means you would be perfectly in your rights to call animal control.

In the meantime, the rocks will do the trick for you.

blueballs wrote:Seems like I remember you buying a new home in a planned community about 4 years ago, which makes the likelyhood of a HOA strong. If that is the case you have two possible legal remedies:

a) see if the HOA by-laws addresses animals running free, and
b) see if your local government has a leash law or a fence law for untethered animals.

Taking this route will accomplish a few things...

a) it keeps you legal,
b) you don't kill anything,
c) the assholes at the end of the street will realize you are smarter than they are and have no recourse,
d) it gives you a record of pointing out a problem if they try to harass you in the future... you are on the right side of the issue.

I'd also bet the animals aren't wearing proper licenses either, which means you would be perfectly in your rights to call animal control.

In the meantime, the rocks will do the trick for you.

This, or crush its skull with a garden gnome.

http://www.cmcgov.com/store/pc/RWS-M34- ... hwoduk6kcA

I'm appalled by the violence suggested in this thread. It should be full of compassion, personal responsibility, and taking care of your fellow earth dwellers.