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Jay Leno takes the opening shot at Congress, "According to a Washington Post poll, 84 percent of Americans do not approve of the way Congress is doing its job. Sixteen percent weren't even aware Congress is doing a job."

Jimmy Fallon takes a shot at the President, "President Obama took Michelle out to a steak restaurant for her birthday, marking the first time in months the words 'Obama' and 'well done' appeared in the same sentence."

Jay Leno talks about John McCain, "Sen. John McCain told Sean Hannity that choosing Sarah Palin was still the best decision he ever made. Well, today the Arizona DMV took away his driver's license."

Conan O’Brien shares, “John McCain has endorsed Mitt Romney for president. … Now, it didn’t help that McCain began his endorsement by saying, ‘From the man who brought you Sarah Palin.'”

Jimmy Fallon gives us, "The U.S. government is selling $30 billion worth of fighter jets to Saudi Arabia. Yeah, it’s part of a new initiative called, 'Operation Regret This In Five Years.'"

Last from Jay Leno, "2012 is supposed to be the year the world ends. Have you seen the national debt? If the world doesn't end, we are so screwed."

AZGrizFan wrote:

Jimmy Fallon gives us, "The U.S. government is selling $30 billion worth of fighter jets to Saudi Arabia. Yeah, it’s part of a new initiative called, 'Operation Regret This In Five Years.'"